A Metaphysics Master Talks About Psychological Burnout
Earlier this year, when I attended a conference in Hong Kong, I met a real estate sales manager named Ah Xin. At that time, she was in a relationship with a married doctor. Based on their astrological marriage dates and Ba Zi (Eight Characters) charts, I conducted a compatibility reading. The conclusion was that before 2029, the two of them would not be able to separate rationally. Ah Xin didn’t ask further questions; she simply handed me a red envelope.
A few days ago, during the National Day holiday, she came from Hong Kong to Macau to see me. I was very busy, so we only met for an hour in the hotel lobby. This time, I noticed she had lost more than 5 kilograms, and her dark circles hung heavily under her eyes. She told me that her doctor boyfriend had broken up with her because she had gone to confront his wife. She felt deep regret over her possessiveness and broke down crying in front of me.
Even a normal relationship consumes a woman’s time, body, and spirit—let alone a love triangle. A woman caught in such a relationship is already exhausted; when her lover is not by her side, the pain of love feels like a sword piercing her heart, a wound that never heals.
An affair is a meaningless consumption of energy, one that ultimately produces no value. Small, self-centered love only wastes energy on jealousy and desire. Jealousy is a form of internal self-consumption. Being rejected by a man’s wife and criticized by society can cause one to overthink and spiral. Constant jealousy damages both the mind and body. In the quiet of the night, the sufferer worries excessively about the future, wondering whether her lover is at that very moment being intimate with his wife. Such fear and anxiety are a kind of mental torture. Over time, they throw one’s psyche off balance.
Mental exhaustion is a common condition in extramarital relationships, mainly caused by three factors:
- Cognitive dissonance
- Possessive emotions
- Jealousy
Jealousy is particularly common. The sufferer knows the relationship is wrong but continues anyway, draining her confidence and spirit. When negative energy accumulates inside, one falls into a vicious karmic cycle. She becomes overly concerned with her lover’s opinions, loses self-confidence, and after every meeting, questions what she did wrong or how he perceives her. Feelings of jealousy and anxiety arise easily; she argues over small matters, and when she sees the man’s wife being stronger or more capable, she feels an internal gap and frustration.
From a Ba Zi perspective, wood governs the nerves, and the liver, belonging to the wood element, functions to “disperse and store blood.” Long-term jealousy disrupts the flow of the five elements and can trigger both physical and mental disorders. In metaphysics, “dispersing” covers mental emotions, digestion, and the circulation of qi, blood, and fluids; “storing blood” involves the regulation and preservation of blood. Jealousy is not a disease—it is a blockage in the five-element cycle. It often manifests as insomnia, headaches, poor appetite, frequent nightmares, and mental fatigue.
After forty years of studying Ba Zi, I have found that all women involved in extramarital affairs carry a karmic “peach blossom affliction” rooted in what I call the poison of jealousy. Some express it openly due to innocence; others conceal it deep inside, revealing it only to metaphysicians or psychologists. In my view, the “blossoming” of such karmic entanglements arises from imbalance in the five elements—an overwhelming desire to possess a man and destroy the family his wife has built.
Under the mistaken idea of “managing marriage like a business,” many people treat relationships as transactions. Business can indeed serve as motivation to improve one’s “love product,” but when women let jealousy turn into hatred, that jealousy becomes fire poison. They cannot tolerate other women around their lover, nor can they pretend to be generous. They exhaust their minds devising ways to ruin others’ happiness.
Jealousy stems from possessiveness. Once possessiveness arises, it breeds anxiety, suspicion, shame, hostility, resentment, and thoughts of revenge. The Yellow Emperor’s Inner Canon says, “Anger makes qi rise.” Affairs disturb one’s true nature and spiritual cultivation. A woman constantly craves her lover’s attention—and from there, illnesses of the body and mind are born.
Jealousy, as expressed in an affair, is a low-frequency state—a psychological response of rejection or hostility toward a rival in love. Envy, on the other hand, refers to resentment toward others whose talent, reputation, status, or circumstances surpass one’s own.
No woman can calmly watch the man she loves return to his wife and still appear magnanimous. When negative emotions are not released for a long time, they lead to solitary suffering. Such women lose control of their emotions, live in constant suspicion, and eventually cause the relationship to collapse.
A woman should cherish herself. A man who does not value you cannot truly love you. To be loved, one must first learn to love and respect oneself. In life, avoid excessive emotional dependence. Maintain your own circle of friends. Learn to recognize others’ character through interaction. And if you cannot bear loneliness—do not touch a married man.
妒嫉是精神内耗，女生要注意
#命理师谈心理内耗#
熊老师(风水课程导师，执业30多年)
我在年初到中国香港开会的时候认识了一位房地产销售经理「阿欣」，她当时跟一位已婚医生谈恋爱，我根据二人的玄学婚姻日期及八字做了一次配婚，结论是，她跟他在2029年前不能理智分手，当时「阿欣」没有再追问下去，只是给了我一个红包。
早二天国庆假期她从香港过来澳门找我，我非常忙，只能在酒店大堂给她一小时聚聚，今次， 我发现她清瘦了5公斤以上，眼袋都挂了一个黑眼圈，她告诉我那医生男友提出分手，因为她曾找他的太太见面理论，她因自己的占有欲很懊恼，在我面前哭了起来。
正常一段恋爱已经令女生消耗很多时间、肉体以及精神，更何况是一段三角恋爱。女人面对一段三角恋爱已经很累，当恋人不在自己身边，那种情殇如剑刺痛，久医不愈。
婚外情是无意义地消耗能量，而且最终没有任何价值产出；因此，小爱就是白白地浪费精力在嫉妒、贪嗔痴的事情上。嫉妒心就是个人自我的内部消耗，人家太太对自己的不接纳、社会给自己的批评，导致自己钻牛角尖，持续的嫉妒心对自己精神、身体的消耗是一种损伤。每当夜深人静，苦主会对未来关系过于担忧，会猜测男友此刻是不是跟他的妻子在床上亲热中，这种恐惧不安情绪`其实是一种精神折磨，日子长了，就心理不平衡。
内耗效应是婚外情常见的一种状况，主要是由于3方面做成：
- 认知不协调。
- 占有情感。
- 嫉妒心。
嫉妒心是婚外情常见的，苦主知道自己是错，但仍然走下去，降低信心，透支心力。当一个人内心堆积了负能量，就会陷入恶性循环的六道。苦主很在意男友的看法，对自己的自信心降低，每次见面过后会反思自己哪里做的不对，男友怎么看我之类的问题，甚至会因为吃醋这些问题感到嫉妒和焦虑，存在嫉妒心理，什么事都喜欢和男友争，当看到人家妻子比自己强大时心里会产生落差感。
从八字上来说，木主神经，肝属五行中的木，其主要功能为「疏泄」与「藏血」。如果妒嫉心长期存在会引发多种常见的身心疾，在玄学中，五行疏泄包含了精神情绪、消化，以及与气、血、水的流通；而藏血则包括了血液的储藏及调节。妒嫉不是病，是五行不通达，一般表现是失眠、头疼、没胃口、经常做噩梦与精神内耗有关系。笔者研究八字文化四十多年，所有婚外情的女人，他们的桃花孽都是来自一种「嫉妒毒」，有些人因为纯真，易表露；有些人善于掩饰，藏在心里，只向玄学家，心理学家开放。笔者认为桃花孽开放的原因是五行失调，苦主极想占有男人，摧毁人家妻子建立的家庭。
在错误的「婚姻经营」观念下，大家把婚姻当是商业经营，本来商业也是一种动力，可以推动自己的爱情产品优势，可是女人因妒而生恨，妒是火毒，她们不能容忍男友以外的女人，也不可以扮大方接受，她们挖空心思采取各种手段去破坏别人的幸福。嫉妒是起源于占有，占有心理出现时，就会产生焦虑、猜疑、羞耻、敌意、怨恨、报复等不良的情绪。《黄帝内经》说：“怒则气上”，婚外情打乱了自己的本性以及修行，无时无刻都想男友重视自己，百病由生。
嫉妒是婚外情常见的一种低频度表现，指男女为打败某情敌做出过份的排斥、甚至是敌视的心理状态，而妒忌是对工作上，别人的才能、名誉、地位或境遇等比自己好的人心怀怨恨。
没有女人眼见自己心爱的男人被妻子抢回去仍一副大爱之貌，负面情绪长时间得不到宣泄， 最终都是令女人独自痛苦。她们控制不了自己情绪，总是在感情上怀疑对方，最终导致分手的发生。其实女人应该珍惜自己，一个不懂爱惜自己的男人，是没有办法可以被爱，所以， 被爱的前提是学会自己爱惜自己，人生当中不要有过度情感依赖，亦都要有自己生活圈子，并且在人与人交往过程当中，认识人的品性，如果自己奈不住寂寞，就不要触摸已婚男人。
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